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Planning on leaving an abusive relationship

Seeking lots of information about support available and planning your escape is the safest way to leave a violent relationship.

Where can I turn for support?

Always call 999 in an emergency.

These agencies may be able to provide you with additional support, advice and information when looking to leave an abusive relationship.

Remember, the threat of violence can escalate when you leave, and in the early times of separation. Make sure you have safety measures in place and you seek support from agencies that can help.

If you are planning to leave:

  • when making your plans, take care over who to trust with any information 
  • the time for leaving needs to be carefully planned - allow adequate time to pack and get away safely
  • Avoid using a satnav when travelling to a prospective new home or destination and always wipe the history if you do – your partner may check it to see where you have been and find out what you are planning
  • consider whether or not a civil order is a viable option – seek legal advice
  • make an extra set of keys for home and your car and store them somewhere safe
  • make up a bag with spare clothes, telephone numbers, keys, money and keep it safe so you can take it quickly, or keep it with a trusted friend
  • take information that might help others to protect you, such as a recent photo of your partner and their car details
  • talk to children about the possibility of leaving and try to take all the children, whatever long-term arrangements might be
  • avoid making any unusual changes to routine which may alert your partner that      something is going on
  • consider speaking to a solicitor

Have the following available in case you have to leave quickly:

  • important papers such as birth certificates, social security cards, driving licence, divorce papers, lease or mortgage papers, passports, insurance information, school and medical records, welfare and immigration documents, court documents
  • credit cards, bank account number
  • online passwords, especially for banking and social media
  • some money
  • extra sets of keys – for car, house and work
  • medications and prescriptions, including those for children
  • telephone numbers and addresses for family, friends, doctors, lawyers and community      agencies
  • clothing and comfort items for you and the children
  • photographs and other items of sentimental value such as jewellery

Always call 999 in an emergency.

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